sacrificing ? . . what's that .

sorry i missed you guys last night . . almost didn't make it tonight either . just been having a rough couple of days that's all . not really handing out any major advice tonight . . just gunna speak some stuff on my heart . so here goes . .

it's just crazyy & funny how you can dedicate 2 & half years of your life to someone that you think you love & all of a sudden almost out of nowhere how you hate them . i never fathomed this . . but that's the exact position i'm in right now . i went through some things with this boy that a girl my age shouldn't have even had to deal with . & he just wasn't worth the sacrifices that i've made & continue to make . especially when he's running around living his life as carefree as possible . i've grown to accept the fact that he's a bad person who hurt me in more ways the one . i've s l o w l y accepted the fact that i can't have the things he took away from me back . but he's prepared me fore so much . he's taught me so much . now i always know when a guy's lying to me . . or when anyone's lying to me period . he's also made me afraid . . terrified to ever put my trust in anyone or to love anyone .

he won't go through life without paying for all the things he put me through . when i was pregnant at 15 years old, i shouldn't have felt as alone as i did . .no one should feel the way that i felt emotionally . . i was going through things that a grown woman would be . at 13, 14, & 15 years old, i should've been enjoying my life as a teenager without a care in the world . but he made that impossible . . he took us saying that we were 'married' literal . . that's why i tell people to be careful when saying they're married . i don't have to be your wifey i'm content with just being your girlfriend sweetheart .
so what i'm trying to say is . . i'm FINALLY at peace with this situation . i now have contentment & no longer resentment because i know i didn't do anything wrong & that it wasn't some type of punishment as i thought of it for so long . also, i know that there's a guy out there somewhere who wants to love me for who i am & who's willing to treat me the way that i deserve . . who will sacrifice for me the way that i'm willing to sacrifice for him . . who will love me AND my child for all the right reasons in all the right ways . sweethearts . . where ever you are, i can't wait to meet you & when i do, i'm going to give you the world

never put your all into someone when they're not willing to do the same . never let someone make you feel weak & incapable when you know you're strong & capable of anything that comes your way . never put yourself in situations that you're not ready for . never hold on when there's nothing there & you should've let go a long time ago . always remember that you're never alone & that God is right there . . pushing us . & that there can't be sunshine without the rain . . with all the rain comes a beautiful ray of sunshine [ & a rainbow too :) ] - peace . love . & lisha [ ♥ ]

SONG OF THE DAY :
superhuman - ginuwine ♥

SIDENOTE : his status inspired the song of the day ♥